"How do you find the right words?" She asked me one day. I can’t find the right words, I’ve never found them, I always mess up things with them. My words are swords in the chests of the ones I love, they are arrows in the shields of my friends. My words are not friendly, they are poisonous snakes. They are my one and only enemy, they weren’t my allies any day, they make me lose debates and ruin arguments, they twist the truth & make up lies, my words are always late, or too early, have never been on the right time, But I don’t blame her when she thinks they are "right," as they dress up well sometimes.
To tell you the truth; I fear my words more than I fear being eaten alive by a vicious shark.
She doesn’t know how I felt yesterday, I wanted to push everyone away and keep her but I couldn’t, I sink in my thoughts and the smoke but I wouldn’t stop thinking of her. I wrote so many words on 3 blank pages and I tore them after I felt it’s enough. I am good at concealing what I have in my heart -it’s simple- I stop talking about my feelings and stay quiet about the things that make me crazy, angry, and sad inside, it’s okay! My night-shift was too long and my thoughts were all about her, but she doesn’t know how strong are those feelings. I keep telling myself that I have to deal with this, to not have anything in return, I will eventually get over it. Nights are longer and days are shorter, and my feelings are like tides, constellations moving in a vast universe. I guess, it’s time to move on and organize my thoughts, feelings, and storage, as I have nothing to give that she wants.